


Muggle Pursuits

by Jaxon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 12:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12864918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaxon/pseuds/Jaxon
Summary: What would a big bad Death Eater be doing, befriending the new Muggle Studies teacher?She would have us all mate with Muggles, don't you know...





	Muggle Pursuits

**Author's Note:**

> I saw you reblogged that post about angsting over the idea of Severus and Charity Burbage having had a relationship and I'd really like to hear a little fic from you about how they got together

“Severus.”  McGonagall paused, and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Severus, really!”  She watched helplessly as the younger man howled with laughter, his head thrown back against the staffroom wall.

“That’s quite enough, Severus,” Dumbledore said, sternly, and Snape’s riotous laughter finally abated.

“I do apologise, Headmaster,” he said, a smirk still adorning his face.  “Professor Quirrell.”  He gave a half nod.

Quirrell scowled, and adjusted the neck of his robes.  “Thank you.  Thank you, my friends.  I am looking forward to this next step in my career.  Of course, I had expected some jealousy,” he shot back, “from certain colleagues who have failed to progress themselves, and don’t have the necessary bravery or courage to…”  He trailed off as Snape’s cold black eyes bored into his own, his smirk now but a memory.  “That is, ahem, to say…to say…”

Dumbledore stepped forward, and clasped Quirrell’s shoulder.  “You shall be missed.  I know I speak for both the students and the staff,” he paused, and inclined his head towards Snape until the Potions Master stopped glaring at Quirrell, “when I say that your work as Muggle Studies teacher has been exemplary-”

“Exemplary,” Snape echoed, giving a sarcastic round of applause.

* * *

“Severus, a word, if I may?”

“As you wish, Headmaster.”

Snape watched as the rest of his colleagues filed out of the staffroom, all wishing Quirrell well on his impending travels.

“Your reaction to your colleague’s upcoming adventure was…curious.”

“His entire trip is curious,” Snape sneered.  “Practical experience!  What a ridiculous notion – the man can barely teach Muggle Studies.  It is implausible that he’s going to pick up enough practical experience in a year overseas to be able to teach Defence in an adequate manner.”

“Ah.  You think you could offer more?”

“At Defence, or Muggle Studies?” Snape shot back.

“I would imagine that you were suitably qualified for either.”

Snape gave a soft laugh. “I could just imagine Malfoy’s face if I took on the newly vacated role of Muggle Studies teacher.”

Dumbledore gave a wry smile. “Now now, let’s not be hasty.  I could well imagine Lucius Malfoy rubbing his hands together with glee at the idea of having a hand in our Muggle Studies curriculum.”

“Indeed.  On second thoughts,” Snape smiled back, “perhaps I should put my name forward?”

“I think not,” Dumbledore said quickly.  “I already have an application form from you in my office for the Defence position.”

“Oh…yes.”  Snape paused.  “Tell me, what did I write this year?”

Dumbledore waved his hand. “How you feel that your recent OWL results speak for themselves, and that you feel you can bring such competency to another subject within the school.”

“Better than last year’s effort,” Snape nodded curtly.  “Didn’t I apparently witter on about classroom attendance?”

“I believe you did. For four pages.  Including an insulting illustration.”  Dumbledore smiled.  “I feel that your applications will only improve in quality as the years go by.  Naturally, I already have someone in mind for the position.”

“Of course.”  Snape frowned at Dumbledore’s continued silence. “…you’re not actually suggesting I do apply for Muggle Studies, are you?”

“No,” Dumbledore said. “The Defence application is one thing, but it wouldn’t do for you to appear disgruntled within your current role.”

“Then, Headmaster, with all due respect, why did you wish to speak to me?”  He gave a broad smile in sudden realisation.  “It was because I laughed at him, wasn’t it?  Because I mocked him?”

Dumbledore shook his head. “No.  Well, I would appreciate it if you could curb such…excesses towards your fellow staff members in the future…”

Snape nodded.

“But I wished to ask you to try and welcome our new Muggle Studies teacher with open arms.”

“Open arms?”

“A friendly face.”

“A friendly face?” Snape’s eyebrows were raised so high, they almost reached his hairline.  “Me? Why not McGonagall?  Or Flitwick?  Or Sprout, she’s always blathering on about friendship and-”

“Severus, it is important that you appear sufficiently ingratiated into Hogwarts when you return to your Dark Lord.”

“And you suggest I do so by befriending the Muggle Studies teacher?” Snape scoffed.  “Yes, that will go down fantastically well!  He’s always been so supportive of-”

“-you would do well to prove,” Dumbledore said coldly, “that you have his best interests at heart.”

Snape frowned.

“And you do that,” Dumbledore continued, “by doing whatever is required of you, no matter how distasteful the task first appears.”  He gave Snape a sharp look.  “You explain that whilst you have my confidence, you were curious at how the Muggle Studies teacher had been taken under my wing.”

“…go on.”

“And that you decided, of your own volition, to see if the information filtered back through the Muggle Studies teacher matched with your own experiences.”  He peered at the younger man.  “Are we in agreement?”

* * *

“What do you mean, you’ve never been?”

“Oh, and you have?”

Snape barked a laugh. “I cannot believe that you’re teaching Muggle Studies and you’ve never been to the cinema.”

“And I can’t believe that you’re the Head of Slytherin, and you indulge in such Muggle pursuits.”

“…touché.”

She leant forward, her glass clutched in her hands.  “And you don’t even deny it.”  She peered at him.  “What sort of a pureblood are you?”

He gave a wide grin and lowered his voice conspiratorially, leaning forward to whisper.  “The halfblood type.”

Burbage’s peals of laughter were high-pitched and loud.  “Halfblood. Yes!  You’re so obviously a halfbood.”

“All right,” Snape said, picking up the rapidly emptying whisky bottle and refilling their glasses. “There’s no need to gloat.”

“Snape.  Snape, Snape, Snape.  It’s not a pureblood name at all.  It’s just, with you being head of-”

“I have heard this before,” he interrupted smoothly.  “My mother was a pureblood, if that helps.”

“And your father a half?”

“With a name like Snape?”

“He was a Muggle?”

“You don’t need to look scandalised.  You are the Muggle Studies teacher, are you not?  I thought you approved of mixed relations?”

Burbage glanced down apologetically.  “Sorry, it’s just, it’s not every day a halfblood makes head of-”

“-and certainly not one with a filthy Muggle father.”

“Severus!”  Burbage looked appalled.

“I’m not referring to his blood.  He himself is the filth,” he quickly elaborated.  “Well, was.”

“Was?”  She shifted uneasily.  “Well, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I’m not.”

“Severus!”

He stood, and took a long gulp of his whisky, the harsh liquid burning the back of his throat.  “Come on then.  We can’t Apparate from the grounds.”

“Apparate?  To where?”

He rolled his eyes, and forcibly removed the glass from her hand, holding out his arm instead.  “To the cinema.  Where else?”


End file.
